


Furlough

by DRiver2U



Series: LoVe in the White City [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, F/M, Gen, Sarcasm, Smut, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 21:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10930257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRiver2U/pseuds/DRiver2U
Summary: This takes place about 2 weeks after "LoVe in the White City." There are 2 previous stories in the series. The first is "Justice for All." The second is "LoVe in the White City."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy part 3 of this story about Veronica and Logan. Their journey continues, this time with more sarcasm than before. There is a little smut in this story, and there are also mentions of child abuse.

If it was possible to predict the next California earthquake, it would start with the seismic shaking of Logan's leg as he sat in the armless, too-low-to-the-ground chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the front desk manager glance at him as he tried to focus on the novel downloaded to his phone. Rationally, he knew he didn't need to feel uncomfortable. There may have been a few vague phrases, exaggerations, and white lies told to cover his trail, but a man has needs. Hell, women have needs. He wasn't the only one about to spend the night in a second-rate hotel. 

The place was depressing. It wasn't low-rent enough for everyone to acknowledge why they were there. It wasn't high-end enough for no one to care what went on behind closed doors. It was that depressing middle-of-the-road business hotel full of aging men trying to make inroads with Millennial tech nerds. Their unsuccessful meetings would end, and they'd gather with fake smiles for the free beer and salsa at the hotel's complimentary "happy" hour. The small talk would dwindle and the ties would loosen before they would call their kids in Omaha or Dallas and watch whatever game was playing on their TVs in their quiet rooms. 

She was late. She was keeping him waiting where everyone could stare at him. It was rare that people still recognized him as the son of former actors; nevertheless, he tried to avoid loitering in public places. He chastised himself for deciding to wait in the lobby rather than the car until she arrived. He clashed with the common hotel decor in his designer dress slacks and formfitting sweater as he sat next to the see-through fireplace, the ubiquitous hotel barrier between the waiting room chairs and the continental-breakfast-included-with-room dining tables. 

The last text she sent was 2 hours ago confirming that her meeting was on schedule and to follow the plan. They were supposed to meet at her hotel at 5:00. He wondered what words came to the minds of the people watching him. Tryst. Affair. Dalliance. Tawdry. Clandestine. Guilty. He looked at his phone again. 5:20 and no new texts or emails. He wouldn't leave. He'd wait for her all night. She could send a text, though, he thought. She could let him know their plans had changed. 

He saw a car stop at the door, and she unfolded herself from the front seat. An older man scooted out from the back and shook her hand before taking her spot in the front. There she was. Finally. Logan stood up as he watched her enter through the automatic sliding glass doors. "I'm sorry I'm late. They pulled me into an extra meeting and then insisted on giving me a ride to the hotel so we could keep talking. I couldn't get a text off. I'm really sorry." 

"You're worth the wait, Veronica," Logan said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Classy digs they got you in."

"Journalism generates less revenue than the football team, so this is the best they could do. The place may not have room service, but they do have microwavable mac and cheese for sale next to the complimentary cucumber water." Logan grabbed his bag from the floor, tossed it over his shoulder, and followed her to the elevators. "I should have left a key for you at the front desk. It didn't occur to me. I really am sorry for being late." Veronica pushed the 4 button, and they made their way to the top floor. "Hungry? I haven't eaten all day. Only coffee. I'm starving. Jittery and starving."

"I could eat," Logan said as he stepped next to her and pressed her to the wall of the elevator. 

"You're so handsome, Lieutenant," Veronica said as she gave him a quick smile. 

"You're not so bad yourself. In fact, you look amazing." Logan's eyes kept darting between Veronica's eyes and her lips. 

"Thanks. It's Prada." Veronica loved the belted tan suit with black leather detailing she had found at a consignment store in Lakeview. 

Logan smiled and kissed her on her lips. "I can't wait for you not to be wearing Prada."

"You know there are cameras in these elevators, right? The front desk clerk is probably gawking at us right now."

"Trust me. They need something to entertain them. I've been watching their boring lives for the last 20 minutes. Let's hope we give them something to envy."

"You smell delicious. How do you smell so good after taking a commercial flight? A very reliable source claims they pump mold spores through the air vents."

"Your room better be close to the elevator because I won't be able to make it down a long hallway without manhandling you." The doors opened and Veronica pointed to the left with her thumb. She grabbed the keycard from her wallet, and she felt Logan's breath on her neck as she fumbled opening the door. Logan was pleased her black pumps lifted her 4 inches closer to his mouth. 

"Home sweet home for the next few hours." They walked into the room and the door clicked behind them. Logan reached for Veronica's arm and he pulled her next to him. He knew what he wanted. He wanted her like he wanted coffee first thing in the morning. He put his hands on her waist and kissed her letting her find his tongue. He was standing so close to her, he thought it was his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Me or you?"

"Who cares? Don't answer it." Veronica dug into her pocket. "I swear, Veronica, if you answer that."

Veronica looked at the screen. "It's my dad." 

"You've go to be kidding. Does everyone in your life have a sixth sense about when to interrupt us?" 

"It's not just us. One time I was in bed in the Brussels Hilton, and he called on the room phone. Not my cell. He figured out which hotel at exactly the wrong time. He's amazing." Veronica turned away from Logan and tapped her phone. "Hiya, Pops. What's up?" She walked to the other side of the room and sat in the chair putting her feet on the ottoman. Logan could see the red on the soles of her shoes. _Prada and Louboutin. Who was this woman?_

"It went well. I was organized. I wouldn't go to the meeting without being prepared." She paused listening to her dad speak. "Things are fine in Palo Alto. Sunny. Well, it's almost dark now, but sunny today. Not that I saw much of it with the meetings." She knew she was rambling as did her father. "Not much. Probably going to get something to eat." She paused again. "You can't be fucking serious." Small pause. "Fine. You can't be freaking serious." Logan smirked as dumped his bag on the desk and took a seat on the bed. "Right, and how'd you figure this out?" Pause. "I meant to tell you." Veronica was avoiding Logan's gaze. "Well, now isn't the best time to have this conversation, but I'll call you when I get home and we'll talk then." Veronica was shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Yeah, OK. I know, Dad. I love you too. Bye." Veronica turned to look at Logan. "He knows you're here. Who'd you tell?" 

"No one. It's not my fault, but you had 2 weeks. You could have told him and then we wouldn't be sneaking around." Veronica stared at him. "Seriously, I didn't tell any of the guys on base, and I just mentioned to Dick that I was heading north for a couple days. I assumed he thought I was going to Carlsbad. Does your dad have a tracker on me?" 

"I don't know, but he definitely knows how to kill a mood."

"Nothing's going to kill this mood." Logan reached over to take her hand. "Turn your phone off and get over here." 

"I need a shower," Veronica moaned as she sat on the bed next to Logan. "I smell like school." 

"Naughty school girl. I could go with that."

"And how many school girls do you see dressed like this?"

"Shut up, Veronica, and let me kiss you." Logan's lips were on her throat and Veronica tilted her neck back. She reached up and untied her tight pony tail. 

"Before we go any further, do we need to have an awkward conversation about previous sexual partners?"

"I'm clean and have condoms. You?" Logan's hands were inside her skirt. 

"Clean and condoms," Veronica panted. She hiked her skirt up a little and turned her body to straddle Logan as he sat on the edge of the bed. She nibbled his ear and kissed him on his throat. 

"See, not awkward at all." 

Veronica slid her hands down his chest to the front of his pants and felt how much he wanted her. She unbuckled his belt and opened the button and zipper before allowing her hands to wander over his boxers. "Christ, Veronica. It's been way too fucking long. God, I've missed you. So much."

Veronica stroked over his boxers before reaching in and feeling his skin on hers. She gently touched him and glided the sticky liquid over her fingers. She slid off him and went to her knees on the floor. She licked him twice making swirl patterns with her tongue before taking him in her mouth. If Veronica was honest with herself, she knew the reason she liked giving blow jobs. It was the power she felt. She had friends in college who lectured her about how oral sex degraded women. She hadn't fought them on the topic, but she wanted to tell them it was none of their business what went on in someone's bedroom. She knew she liked feeling like she was in control. She could have men gasp at her touch. She could make them roll their eyes to the back of their heads. She could make them moan and swear. She had never been with a man who didn't love a blow job and most were willing to put up with a lot shit if they thought there was a chance for one at the end of the night. 

A gentle finger massage at the base. A little twirl of the tongue. A nice rhythm. Those music lessons paid off in so many ways. If the position was right, a little cupping of the balls and a hint of a touch behind. Veronica was uptight. She always had been. Conventional sex messed with her head because it was the one time when she forced herself to let go. She had to relax and trust someone else. Not this way. She didn't even need to change her clothes if she didn't want to.

"Fuck, Veronica, stop or I'll come." Veronica didn't stop. She relished her dominance, her ability to make someone else lose his mind. She didn't even mind the taste. "Fuck. Fuck, Veronica." 

She stood up as he collapsed onto the bed, and she winked at him. "I need a shower." She walked towards the closet and gathered what she needed. "And then food. Shower and food," she said before closing the bathroom door. 

**********

Veronica emerged from the bathroom in a white button front shirt over her bra and knickers. "Where are you taking me for dinner? Should I wear jeans or a skirt?" Logan was still sitting on the bed, but his pants were tied. Veronica walked to him and straddle him again. She put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him deeply. His hands went under her shirt tickling the small of her back. "Yo, Logan. What are you going to feed me?"

Logan flipped her over and ran his hand up her thigh. "Are you sure they don't have room service here? That mac and cheese is starting to sound delicious." 

"Nope. You're taking me out. Like a proper date. And then we're coming back here and you're fucking me like a proper girlfriend." 

"You drive a hard bargain, Mars, but I'm willing to accept your terms." Logan ran his hands through her damp hair. "Your call. You want fancy or casual?"

"Did you rent a car?" Logan nodded as he kissed her cheek. "Is it too much to ask to drive to Half Moon Bay? I know it's almost 40 minutes away, but there's a fish restaurant I love."

"Mavericks isn't far from Half Moon Bay."

"Were you hoping to do some big wave surfing after we eat?"

"It'll be too dark for that."

"Good to know you're safety conscious. Is that the only reason you don't want to go surfing?" Veronica held her hands with the palms up and pretended they were a balance. "Sex or surfing? Sex or surfing?" She wondered if their conversations would always be sarcastic. Their natural tendency did seem to include mocking each other.

"Tonight? Sex."

"Oh, I rate for one night. Thanks. Seriously, is it too far?"

"What the hell. Let's go. We can walk on the beach in the dark."

"There might be a moon tonight. Could be romantic."

"Like you care about romance. You just want fish tacos."

"I just gave you an awesome blow job. How much romance do you expect from me in one night?" Logan laughed and shook his head before kissing her neck. 

"Only you could be cynical enough to equate blow jobs with romance. Cupid's jealous of you, you know." Logan laughed again.

"Now, for fish tacos, I might be persuaded to indulge in one or two of your other fantasies. But please, man, feed me. I'm starving."

"Yes, ma'am. Food it is. Go with jeans. And a jacket. If we're going to the beach tonight, it's going to be cold. Shit, it's always cold on the beach in northern California."

Logan rolled off of her and held out his hand to help her off the bed. He gently slapped her on the rear and headed for the bathroom. Veronica pulled a pair of black pants off a hanger and found a gray sweater in her bag. When Logan returned to the room, she was putting on two-tone oxford shoes. "Nice shoes. You look great."

"You say that with such shock in your voice. Do I normally look like a schlub?"

"Of course not, but it's a little more high end than I'm used to with you."

"I'm here for work. I have to look nice. What if I run into someone I had meetings with today? The shoes are another story, I'm afraid. I'm embarrassed to admit that I went through a pretty serious shoe obsession a couple of years ago. Luckily, I'm good at finding bargains." 

"There's the Veronica I know."

"We didn't all inherit a boatload of money. I'm sorry. Was it a boatload or a shitload?"

"Both." Logan bent down and kissed her again. "Ready?"

"Yeah, I'll just grab my jacket. Aren't you going to be cold?"

"Not with you at my side." Veronica rolled her eyes. "And my coat's in the car." Veronica grabbed her purse as Logan held the door open for her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Even your rental car is the nicest car in the lot." 

"I didn't bother getting a convertible. That was practical at least."

"I usually can't tell a Ford from a Chevy, but, god, I love an Audi. They're so sleek. And it's red; I love a bitchin' red car. That German engineering turns me on. Vroom, vroom. I once went on a date with a guy only because he drove a turbo GTI." Veronica slid her hand over the roof of the car while Logan opened the passenger door for her. "Thanks. I can't remember the last time someone opened a car door for me. What are you, like, part Victorian?"

"I don't think Victorians were known for their cars, but your sarcasm is on point tonight. Maybe you should write comedy." Logan walked to the other side and turned on the car. 

"Sarcasm? I prefer snark. Sounds more intellectual. And writing comedy's got to be easier than writing songs." Veronica scanned the inside of the car. "Christ, it's a 6-speed. There's no better way to feel in control than to have a gear stick in your hand. I may have died and gone to luxury automobile heaven."

"That could be the sexiest thing you've ever said to me," Logan said as he backed out of the stall. 

"I may not own a car, but that doesn't keep me from coveting my neighbor's ride. Know where you're going or should I fire up my phone?"

"I think I'm good. Once we get to the coast, I might need help getting to the restaurant."

"You gonna let me drive this sweet ride at some point?"

"You talking about me or the car?"

"I like you and all, but this car. Now that's what I'm talking about."

Logan shifted as he merged onto the highway. "I know we agreed we wouldn't talk about work during our little furlough, but how's your boss?"

"Stable. At least, that's the last I heard before I left. They would have called if something more had happened." Veronica looked out the window before continuing. "He's such a great guy. It was shitty enough finding out he'd been in a bicycle accident, but then to have a heart attack at the hospital. Crazy."

"There are worse places to have a heart attack."

"True. Good thing he hadn't had time to sign any DNR papers. They say he's going to be in the hospital for awhile. We're all trying to cover for him, but it's a lot of extra work. Of course, without the accident, I wouldn't be on this spur-of-the-moment trip to sunny California. What a sacrifice for me to fill in for him at his Stanford meetings."

"No disrespect to your boss and his health, but I wasn't sure I could make it a month before seeing you."

"Sixteen hours isn't much, but at least we get to have dinner together."

"Fifteen and a half. You were late." 

"Yeah, yeah. Speaking of not talking about work, they want to start a similar project at Stanford and base it on what we've been doing."

"That's got to be gratifying. Is that why you're here? Give them advice on how to do that?"

"One of the reasons. I spoke to some journalism classes, too. They also kind of interviewed me. They basically offered me the job of director of the new project." Logan turned his head and stared at her. "Eyes on the road, buddy."

"Way to bury the lede."

"Thanks for the journalism lingo so I'd be able to follow the conversation."

"What did you tell them?"

"I'd think about it."

"And?"

"And I'm going to think about it."

"And?"

"And there's a lot to consider. I wouldn't have to start right away. They know things are tough right now with David in the hospital. Plus, I haven't decided if I want to leave Chicago." 

"You're really going to think about it, though, right? It's not San Diego, but at least you'd be in the same time zone."

"I don't have to decide for at least a month. They'll be at the conference at UCLA, so we'll talk more there and I'll get some specifics. Then I'll approach my boss about it if he's well enough."

"Christ, Veronica, it's so impressive they want you to be the director."

"Again, you say that with such shock in your voice."

"No, you're fantastic at so many things, but it's amazing they came after you. You must have been on their radar for awhile."

"Maybe. I've been doing this long enough that people know who I am. And my boss is always positive about me to other people. Like I said, he's a good guy." Veronica looked out the window again and noticed the pink streaks in the sky. "Anyway, how's your job?"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about our jobs."

"Too late. We've already broached the forbidden."

"Not as exciting as you might expect. It takes some time to get back into the swing of being on base, but it's fine. Good. Very good. Great. But no one asked me to take over a department."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time before your talents and charm are rewarded."

"I'd like to take that as a compliment, but I think I heard some snark in there again."

"What can I say? It's my natural setting. At least, we can agree it wasn't my charm that made them offer me the job."

"Speaking of charming. How's Aisha?"

"She is charming, isn't she? We grabbed a quick coffee before I left. She's doing well. She talked about you."

"This should be good."

"She liked you. She can be picky about who's in my life, so you should be honored that she liked you."

"I got the feeling she knows more about your past than you may want to admit."

"God only knows the secrets I divulged late at night in her dorm room. She doesn't drink, but that didn't keep me from being a drunken idiot in front of her." 

"I'll bet her journalism degree came in handy while she was researching you."

"God bless the internet."

"How's your songwriting class going?"

"Painful. I think I've found yet another thing at which I need improvement. I want to be good at it. I want to be creative, but the truth hurts. My songwriting sucks, really, really sucks."

"Maybe just go back to mandolin classes."

"That would be easier. See. That's another reason I would hate to leave Chicago."

"You don't think you can find music classes in California? This is the state where every other person walks around with a guitar over her shoulder and is a wannabe or failed musician."

"Yeah, I'd be a cliché in California. In Chicago, it's still kind of cool." Most of the cars had their headlights illuminated guiding people home, to dates, and to the gym. "You didn't tell me how surfing went with Casey and his kids?"

"Weird. Surfing's usually relaxing. Something to do with friends. Soak up the sun and the waves."

"I'm familiar with the concept of surfing."

"We took the kids out for their first lesson, and it was fucking terrifying. They show up with these cut little wetsuits. Case had even found a pink one for Maisey. A few weeks ago, Dick bought them long boards with foam tops. Everything seemed cool. They've used boogie boards before, so it seemed natural to ease them onto a long board. Then they got in the water, and there's this panic, not from the kids but from Dick and me, about them falling off and what happens if they don't pop back up."

"First time surfing you had to know they were going to fall off a lot."

"Sure, but the reality didn't sink in until they were actually under the water. Fuck, they aren't even my kids and it was so stressful trying to make sure they were going to live through the experience. We just wanted to strap them to our boards and hold them."

"Tandem surfing."

"Right." Logan smiled at the idea. "We're probably too overprotective with those kids, but by the time we were finished, I was ready to forbid them from going within 2 miles of the ocean."

"The adrenaline junkie is actually Mr. Softie. What did Casey think?"

"He was way cooler than Dick and I were. I suppose if you're with them every day, you can't worry about everything they do. You'd spend your whole life doing nothing but worrying." Logan adjusted in his chair and paused. "You know, I think about how most adults want to look out for kids and make sure they don't get hurt. Even if they're not your own kids, the natural reaction is protection. What the fuck was wrong with my old man?"

"Probably more about power than anything else."

"Yeah, but it still seems so fucked up that an adult looks at a kid and thinks about how creative he can be the next time he smacks him around."

"It is fucked up. No doubt about it."

"Anyway, Dick and I have yet to decide if we can handle taking them out again. They loved it. That's the problem. They wanted to go again the next day."

"You've created little surfing monsters. You'll never be able to get out of taking them again." Veronica took a deep breath. "I never heard much about Casey's wife. Dick said she died."

"Fucking tragic. Life's an unfair bitch sometimes."

"That it is."

"Do you remember much about Casey?"

"I liked him. His family hired me to follow him when he joined a cult."

"A cult?"

"Well, his parents were convinced it was a cult out to steal his money, but it was more like a commune." 

"Huh. Don't remember that." 

"So, Casey's involved with the family business now?"

"After college, he started working there full-time. He met Tess soon after graduating. She was a few years older than him. And she was a dynamo. A force. They only dated a few months before they got married. She told Casey she wanted kids right away and she wanted them close in age. And he was all in."

"She sounds like she knew what she wanted."

"You can't even imagine. She flipped our worlds, especially Dick's. When Casey introduced her to Dick, it was like Dick had found his long-lost sister. He worshipped her."

"Was Casey jealous?"

"It wasn't like that. I don't know how to describe it, but Tess and Dick were, I don't know. I want to say it was like they shared DNA, but they were way closer than Dick had ever been with Cassidy. They fed off each other, but they never flirted. They had some deeper connection. It was fun to watch."

"What was she like?"

"She lit up a room. You hear that expression all the time, but it was true for her. She was in marketing and graphic design for a music company. She drank in every moment. It was as if she had this inclination that her time was limited and she was going to do everything in her power to grab each second." 

"Dick said she had cancer."

"It was fucking terrible. She was diagnosed when she was pregnant with Maisey. She wouldn't take any treatments because she didn't want to endanger the baby. By the time Maisey was born, the cancer had spread pretty much everywhere. When she died, Dick basically moved in with Casey. I was away, but it was a shitstorm. Overall, Casey held up really well after it happened. Dick's been with those kids, especially Maisey, since the day they were born." 

"It's hard for me to imagine Dick as a responsible adult."

"I think you could definitely classify him as that."

"What's he do all the time?"

"You mean, when he isn't cleaning up my messes or raising Casey's kids?"

"That is so weird."

"He's got a lot of projects going. He's invested in several businesses and projects. Some he's silent and some he takes the lead. I think he and Mac are working on some tech start-up thing. I don't have any details, but I think she's giving him some advice." 

"Is that what we're calling it now, advice?"

"This is actually advice. I haven't been privy to what exactly they're doing, but I think she has to be careful there isn't a conflict of interest with her day job." 

"We Skyped the other night, and she mentioned that she was working on a side project. She didn't tell me it was with Dick."

"My guess is that when they get it all organized and if it seems like there's promise, Dick will approach Casey and me about investing. That's what usually happens."

"You're business partners with Dick?"

"On some things, yeah. I'm not involved with all of his offshoots. He owns a lot of property, and I'm in on some of that, too. I won't own clubs or bars, though. I trust him. If he thinks it's a good idea, he'll usually convince me. He hasn't had too many failures." 

"Let's hope he didn't get his business sense from his dad."

"We're all trying to live down the sins of our parents, aren't we?"

"I suppose. I hadn't thought about it like that. When I talked to Mac, she said the two of them went to some music festival on Saturday in LA."

"He was gone all weekend. I think he headed up to see her Friday morning. Came back Monday. But it wasn't a date. Definitely not a date."

"They give me a headache."

"But if it was a music festival, Dick may have known someone there or been invested somehow. Like I said, Tess was pretty connected in the music industry, and she'd take Dick to shows, introduce him to people in the know."

"I didn't say it earlier, but I'm sorry you lost your friend. I'm sorry you all had to go through such a tough time."

"Thanks."

Veronica looked out the window and noticed they were approaching their destination. "You're on 92 right?"

"Yep."

"It's on the left before you get to Main Street. Flying Fish. Across from the cemetery. You made good time. I hope you drive your airplane as efficiently as you drive your car."

Logan laughed and reached over and rubbed her hand. "You don't drive a plane, Intrepid Reporter. You say shit like that just to make me laugh, don't you?"

"What can I say? I've been told I should writer humor."

**********

"I shouldn't get shellfish, right?"

"That would be preferable. I can't believe you remember that."

"I'll sacrifice and limit myself to the fish tacos. Fucking hell, I am so hungry."

"I was afraid you were going to force to me drive through a Carl's Jr. along the way."

"Now that we're here, all I want to do is eat. Right now."

"I'm pretty sure I've been here before. Decor is familiar."

"What were you doing up here?"

"I told you. Mavericks is just up the road from here."

"Were you surfing or watching? I don't remember you big wave surfing."

"I don't any more, but I did it for awhile. It's always cold as shit up here. A wet suit isn't enough to keep you warm."

"It's the cold water that concerns you? How about the big waves? The drowning bit."

"The worst was when I was doing it in my foolhardy days. Nothing like getting stoned and then big wave surfing in frigid waters."

"How are you not dead?"

"I have no idea." 

The server arrived at their table and asked what they wanted to drink. "Could we just order food now? I'm sorry, but I need to eat something. I'll have 3 mahi tacos grande. Just water. Thanks." Logan ordered the same. 

"Did you come up here often?"

"You remember me telling you I was engaged?"

"I seem to recall that bit of gossip."

"She was from around Pacifica."

"So these are your old stomping grounds with the fiancé, huh? Should have told me before I dragged you here." 

"It's cool. I don't get up this way much these days. Surfing's great. Food's great. Weather can really stink, but the beaches are good." Logan stared at Veronica as she glanced around the restaurant. "It really bothers you I was engaged, doesn't it?"

"We just took different paths. You repaired and I amputated. Just different directions to go in life." 

"I feel like I should apologize for something, but you left, Veronica. I didn't even know her when you were here. I wasn't with her just to hurt you or prove something to you. You didn't try to get in touch with me. I assumed you didn't care."

Veronica took a sip of her water and looked over Logan's shoulder to the bar. Maybe she should have ordered a drink. "Of course, you had to move on. We both did. I'm not judging you. Love's a good thing. Never enough love in the world. 'Love all' as Shakespeare says." 

"Yeah, but the rest of that line is 'do wrong to none' and I don't think breaking off an engagement is doing no wrong." Logan reached over and tapped Veronica's hand. "Hey, what's happening in your head?"

"Nothing," Veronica said as she gave a toothless smile. "Just hungry."

"Veronica." Shit, was that scolding?

"It wasn't that I didn't care. Of course I cared. Oh, thank god." Veronica moved her hand from under Logan's grip and nearly drooled onto the plate of food. "I'm going to try hard not to inhale this." She picked up a taco and rolled her eyes. "Fuck me, that's good. You're not going to be offended if I don't talk much, are you?"

"I'm quite clear about your priorities at the moment."

**********

"Do you mind that I ordered coffee? We aren't in a hurry, are we?" Logan asked. "I could use some before we head to the beach."

"It's fine. I shouldn't have any more today. I feel like I had 10 cups today. I know it wasn't, but it feels like it. Do I seem jittery?"

"A little, but I thought maybe you're nervous."

"Could be. It's still strange to be with you in person." 

"Maybe strange will become nice soon."

"Well, it's nice too." Veronica fidgeted with the napkin on her lap. "So, I think I should tell you something before we decide if we want to go any further with this relationship."

"I thought it was decided. Are we really discussing this again?"

"It's just that you may want to back out after I tell you this."

"OK. I'm listening."

"So, I didn't tell anyone this until a couple of weeks ago, but I've had depression for about a year."

"Who'd you tell about it 2 weeks ago?"

"Mac. In Chicago. At breakfast."

"In the last year, you haven't told your dad?" 

"Umm, no. I don't want him to worry about me."

"Would you have told him if you had cancer?"

"Depends on what kind of cancer it was. If I thought I could get better without his help, then probably not. He has enough to think about without worrying about me."

"My guess is that he'd be upset that you haven't told him. I know he doesn't think too highly of me, but he's a good father. He loves you like no one else. He'd want to know and he'd want to help."

"Maybe. I'll think about telling him. But anyway, so I told you I see a therapist, but I don't take drugs for the depression."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to beat it on my own. I'm sure I can do this. It's not so bad. You wouldn't have guessed, right?"

Logan looked up at her over his coffee cup. "Yeah, I would have guessed. You definitely have the symptoms. Psych minor, remember? And I'm familiar with the contours of a psychiatrist's couch."

"What did you notice?"

"Well, for one thing, you have strange sleeping habits. I can't imagine how late you were up the night you made that incredible chocolate cake. We were together 4 nights in Chicago, and you didn't come to bed for 2 of those nights. We Facetime late and I know you're up early."

"I definitely don't sleep much. Wasn't it Shakespeare who said, 'Sleep is for suckers'?"

"You might want to run that quote by your fact checker. And I'll check to see if it made the inspirational message notebook." Logan took a sip of his coffee. "You've isolated yourself. And no offense, but you're kind of moody."

"Who could take offense to being called moody?"

"You avoid dealing with anything that may be unpleasant."

"No one likes to deal with the unpleasant. That doesn't count."

"You used to eat enough for 3 people, and now you tell me you go all day without eating hardly anything. Lack of self-awareness and self-worth. Plus, you can seem pretty unhappy at times." Veronica was biting her entire lower lip. "And you're not going to have a bottom lip if you keep that up."

"Bad habit." 

"I don't understand why you don't want to try some drugs that might help."

"I've done some reading on the topic, as you might imagine, and I'm not convinced the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance as much as it was triggered by an event. More episodic rather than chemical."

Logan put his cup down and took her hand. "Fuck, Veronica. Did something happen to you a year ago?"

Veronica pulled her hand away. "You're not getting my point. I'm just trying to explain my decision. Plus there are too many side effects."

"Is one of those side effects that you may actually feel better?"

"Are you saying I don't want to be happy?"

"I'm not saying that, but I'd think you'd want to get through this as quickly as possible. You might remember, I have some experience with depression. My mother killed herself, for fuck's sake." Veronica looked him in the eyes. "Yeah, OK, you don't need to look at me like that. Yeah, I've had some tough times myself."

"So, I've been thinking that one of the reasons I'm worried if I'm drinking too much is because I'm, consciously or not, trying to self-medicate. And since alcohol's a depressant, I'm trying to cut back on that." 

"No one understands self-medicating more than me, and I can vouch for the fact that it doesn't work. There may be temporary relief, but, in the end, it just makes you more miserable. But you can self-medicate with things other than alcohol and drugs." He paused. "You can do it with food too." 

"Enough with the food. I just slammed 3 tacos."

"Two and a bite."

"Thanks for counting my calories."

"You can do what you want about the pharmaceuticals, but you need to tell your dad. You'd feel better if you weren't lying to him. You're avoiding him so you don't have to deal with his reaction."

"So, is this a deal breaker? Ready to run for the hills?"

"This is a bitch for sure, but not for what it does to us. It's what it's doing to you." Logan took the last sip of his coffee. "Honestly, I don't think it's the depression that's going to be what makes it tough for us. We'll figure that out. Your biggest problem for us to get through is your commitment issue."

"Commitment issues? Tell that to my boss and to my mortgage lender. They don't think I have commitment issues."

"I mean with personal relationships." 

"It's reassuring to know that I continue to be the problem in any relationship we have." The server refilled Logan's mug and dropped off the check. "Good to know some things never change."

"You don't need to take what I say and twist it around to make yourself out to be the bad guy."

"Sixteen fucking hours. Didn't we pledged that we wouldn't fight?"

"I don't think this is fighting, but even if it is, so what? We fight, Veronica. This seems to be the one way we do actually communicate with each other. We aren't going to stop fighting. We both have our own way of doing things and we don't like to compromise." Logan paused. "If we were in Chicago or Neptune or even Palo Alto, would you be looking for the exit?"

"Probably."

"See, that's what I mean about commitment issues. You can't just run off every time we have a serious discussion, especially if you don't like the way the conversation turns. Woman up and deal with the issue on the table. When we were in bed before I left Chicago, you agreed that you wouldn't take off when things got tough. I'm not running because you have issues to work through. And you shouldn't bolt when I tell you what I really think."

Veronica rubbed her hands over her face. "Fuck this is hard. I don't like to be bad at things."

"No one does."

"I'm going to get wrinkles from these conversations. I'll have to get Botox."

"Please. I'm begging you. Don't touch your face." Logan studied her. "Seriously, do not touch your face. No plastic surgery. No fillers. No Botox. None of it."

"But when you bump into me again in 10 years, don't you want to see me like I was when I was young?" Veronica smiled, but she could tell Logan didn't think she was funny.

"There it is. You say shit like that without even thinking about it. You just assume we won't be together in 10 years. God, that's frustrating. At the very least, the absolute very least, I would hope you would want us to stay in touch for the next 10 years. Christ, it really must be depressing living in your head. You assume the worst all the time."

"Is this payback for all the shitty things I said to you at breakfast in Carlsbad? Because I thought I apologized for that already."

"It's not about anything you've said. It's about how we move forward. Move forward together. If you don't have an expectation that we can somehow make this work, then it's not going to work."

"Do you really have no doubts?"

"Of course I have doubts, but I don't let them dominate everything else in my mind. You're good at so many things. Why don't you think you can be good at being someone's partner?" Logan took a sip of his coffee and then gave a startled look. "Fuck, it's me isn't it? I fucked your head so badly you haven't been able to be serious about anyone since me. Shit, Veronica, are you like this because of me?"

"Of course not. I'm like this because of me." 

"In Chicago, you said you hadn't been serious about anyone in a long time. How long?"

"Mac told me I was long-term with Jax."

"Mac told you that. And what do you think?"

"I told you I didn't think it was serious. It was just for fun."

"I asked you this in Chicago, but really think about it this time. Did you love him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think he loved me."

"Did he tell you he loved you?"

"Not seriously."

"How does a person say that not seriously?"

"Maybe like, 'Damn, girl, I love you when you play that song.' Something like that. Just in passing or when he'd drop me off after going to his parents' house."

"Veronica, I'm so sorry if I had any hand in making you close yourself off to people. That's the last thing I would have wanted to do. I hate it that you don't think people love you. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure Jackson loved you."

"Loving people is such a burden. And I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'm smart, tenacious, capable, competent, respected, and I can get any job accomplished that needs to be done, except maybe writing a hit song. I know I have all those good qualities. Lots of people don't have those, but I was lucky enough to get those." 

"And you can also be loving and caring and people want to be those things to you. That's how it goes. There's give and take, not just give. You're allowed to take what you need from others. And taking what you need from them isn't a burden."

"It's like my emotional aptitude stopped developing when I was a teenager, and I don't seem to be able to restart it. Why the hell would you want to get involved with someone as fucked up as me? Isn't there a nice kindergarten teacher somewhere who would be a delightful addition to your life?"

"Do you know how long I would last with nice? That's not going to work for me. I need a bit more of a challenge. I need a little badass. I would be bored out of my mind with nice. I need to be with someone who gets turned on by German engineering and a 6-speed manual transmission. I need someone who can be as snarky and sarcastic as I am. Someone who hangs up from a phone call with her dad and then immediately goes down on me. Yeah, that's more my style." 

"I'm not sure I'm much of a badass any more, but I definitely have the snarky part covered." Veronica noticed Logan's empty cup and the staff refilling salt shakers on the other tables. "Looks like maybe we need to move on. You buying or is it on the department?"

"It's a proper date, remember? Part one of your hard-fought bargain."

"Right. I'll meet you at the car." 

**********

"Instead of going to the beach, why don't you park near the ocean so I can hear the waves. It's late and cold. We don't need to sit on the beach."

"There's a place on 1 just north of town where we can stop. During the day, there's usually surfers there." 

"Sounds perfect. I don't need to be shaking sand out of my shoes when I get back to Chicago." 

"You miss it, don't you?"

"What?"

"California."

"Sometimes I do. I'm surprised at how much I miss the ocean. Lake Michigan is fun and beautiful, but it's not the ocean. It's funny because I don't think of myself as someone who craved hanging out at the beach. I'm not like you who connects with the water and feels at home on a board. But I do miss it." 

"There's probably an app you can get that has ocean sounds on it. Sometimes I wonder how old I'm going to be before I give up surfing. Some of these guys have been surfing for 60 or 70 years. That's so awesome."

"Dude. So righteously awesome, dude."

Logan pulled the car to the side of the road. "Let's cross the street. We can watch the waves or we walk on the path. You'll need your jacket with the wind." 

"You know what I need? I nice purple toque."

"I would offer you my navy one, but I believe it's in Chicago."

"What was I thinking? I should have brought them for us. Wouldn't that have been cute? We could be in matching caps on the beach. Well, next to the beach."

"Cute. That's the word everyone uses when they think about the two of us together." 

They ran across the road, and Veronica could taste the salt water in the air. "That's another thing Lake Michigan is missing. Salt water." 

They walked until the path became sheltered from the busy road. The moon wasn't full, but it was bright enough to provide extra light not given by the passing cars. Logan wrapped his arm around Veronica's shoulders and pulled her close to him. "I'm grateful you're willing to give us another chance." He kissed her hungrily and nibbled her bottom lip. "Don't bite your lip off because it's one of my favorite parts of you." 

Veronica smiled but didn't roll her eyes. "Sometimes, just sometimes I almost like the shit you say to me. If only there was a way I could believe some of it." She kissed him back and then wrapped her arms around his chest. "If it weren't so cold, this would almost be romantic." 

"It's still romantic. Come back to California, and we can be together like this more often." 

"God, you love the ocean, don't you? You're never so at ease as when you're near the water." 

"It's probably true. But you add to the experience. Moments like these get me through the months in a tin can. I can bank this for when I'm homesick." 

"You just got back and already you're thinking about when you're leaving again. And you think I have issues." 

"Yeah, we both do, but that doesn't mean we can't get through them, all of our issues." He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Maybe we should head back. It's going to be late by the time we get back to the hotel." 

"Two more minutes. You're not the only one who needs to make good memories to get through the rough patches."


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll bet this baby even has heated seats. Let's see if I can figure out which button that'd be." Veronica studied the dashboard and opened the glovebox. "Rental cars never have an owner's manual, do they?" 

"God, you're sexy when you talk about this car." 

"I am officially old because I think I'd take this beauty over a pony any day." 

"I think the words you like to use are old and practical."

"How dare you call this car practical. This is a work of art." 

Logan reached over and put his hand on Veronica's thigh. "You keep talking about this car and I'm going to have to pull over and have my way with you on the side of the road." 

"You gotta do what you gotta do."

"So, uh, change of subject. Earlier, you mentioned you were at the Hilton in Brussels. What were you doing there?"

"Past boyfriend. Do you really want to talk about that? Does this mean I'm going to have to listen to you wax poetic about your beautiful and talented exes? I'm not sure my fragile ego can take it. Let me guess. You dated 10, no 12, supermodels and 8 Hollywood starlets." 

"I think you know me well enough to realize I'd never be interested in an actress. No way." 

Veronica tapped her finger to her lips. "Very interesting. You didn't deny the models. I bet you were with them for their stellar conversational skills, weren't you? Were any of them engineering majors?"

"You're judging them based on stereotypes. Not all models are bimbos."

"Far be it for me to judge people I don't know." 

"You'd rather know about who I dated than tell me about who you were with in Brussels? You really are the best at avoiding topics you don't want to discuss."

"Well, let's see there was me and then there was Parker. And then I left. So, anyone after Parker is on the table. Feel free. I can take it. Honestly, though, I never liked it that you dated Parker, just so you understand the starting point."

"I wish I hadn't dated her either. She didn't deserve to be a rebound, and it messed things up with Mac for awhile. Yeah, that was a mistake. I made a lot of mistakes."

"Well, that seems like enough information for one night." 

Logan laughed and glanced at her. "Your turn to fess up."

"OK. Brussels. I was dating a doctor, and he had a meeting in Belgium. He could take another person along, so he took me. His plus one didn't need to be his wife or colleague, so he asked me." 

"His wife?"

"Oh, that sounds wrong. No, he wasn't married. I just meant the plus one didn't have to be related to him or from the same hospital."

"I think Aisha told me about him."

"She did? Why would she have told you about him?"

"Was he the heart surgeon?"

"Yeah, what did she say?"

"I don't think she liked him very much. Thought he was pompous."

"That he was, but I still don't know why she would have talked about him with you."

"Hey, you got a free trip out of it."

"I hadn't been to Belgium since I studied in England, so it was good to be back. They have yummy chocolate and beer. Oh, and frites. And waffles. All I remember is the food. And, yeah, that tells you something about the chemistry, or lack there of, with the doctor. Two months I was with him, and it was 59 days too many. Do you ever look back on some of the people you dated and wonder what the hell was going through your mind to make you think that was a good decision?" 

"More than you should know. I didn't know you studied in England."

"Yep, did an internship at the House of Parliament. Good times. That's where I developed by undying love of cider. England, not Parliament." 

"There's a lot we don't know about our pasts, isn't there?" 

"There's a lot we do know about our pasts, though, too." Logan had moved his hand back to the steering wheel because the road had turned curvy. Veronica moved in her seat and pulled her bag from the floor. "Gum?"

"Love some. Please and thank you." She took a piece out of the wrapper and handed it to Logan. She placed the bag below her feet and then put her hand on his leg.

"OK. I'm ready. Tell me about this fiancé. I'll tell you when I can't take any more."

"Her name was Jessie."

"Hate her already."

"Way to keep an open mind. Good thing you don't judge people you don't know."

"I've wondered how my life would've been different if my parents hadn't given me such a hard-sounding name with no 'y' at the end. Would I have been a different person if they had named me Barbie or Gigi or Sissy? Even the nicknames you guys gave me were tough sounding." 

"That's why you're such a badass, but I can totally picture you as a Barbie." Logan smiled at the thought of her with a different name. "Jessie went to Hearst and she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher."

"Fuck off, she did not." They both laughed. 

"Swear to you, she did."

"I don't believe you, but go on. Keep in mind, I still hate her."

"We dated part of junior and all senior year. She transferred to Hearst sophomore year, but I didn't meet her until junior year." 

"So there were others between Parker and her."

"Sophomore year is a blur, so I'm not sure how accurate I would be about who I was with that year. I was doing a variety pack of drugs and they seemed to go very well with a whiskey chaser. Not my finest hour. You know it's bad when Dick is the voice of reason in your life." 

"If it makes you feel any better, I was drinking my fair share sophomore year, too. Good thing we weren't together or we'd have run the liquor stores clean dry. We should probably have our livers checked." 

"Standard blood test in the military."

"Lucky you. Go on, you were about to tell me about the love of your life, your almost wife. Fuck, now those are good song lyrics. I need to write that down." Veronica pulled out her phone and sent herself a text. She mumbled the words she had just said to Logan while typing her message. 

"Let's make one thing very clear. She wasn't the love of my life. We dated less than 2 years. She didn't graduate with us because she had to do her student-teacher assignment. I had worked through most of my shit and decided to go into the navy. I knew she wanted to get married, so we either had to break up or get married." Logan paused while he passed a pick-up truck. Veronica looked at the other driver and wondered what he was smoking to create so much smoke billowing from the cab. "Dick was pissed when I proposed. He hated her. Actually, just about everyone in my life couldn't stand her. You'd think I could have seen the warning signs." 

"Sometimes we only see what we want to see."

Logan glanced at Veronica, but he had a hard time reading her expression in the dark. "Dick thought she was a gold-digger from the start. He was convinced she transferred to Hearst specifically to find me and get her hands on the family money. You know, I've never been comfortable with the inheritance from Aaron, so I really didn't care if she wanted the money. Dick, however, was having none of it."

"Did Mac know her?"

"Yeah, not her favorite person. Probably the first time she and Dick ever saw eye-to-eye on a topic."

"How could anyone hate a kindergarten teacher? They're always the nicest person in the room."

"Like I said, Dick thought she had nefarious intentions. I left for the navy and Dick texted me pictures of her out with someone else. She told me Dick set her up, and I'm not convinced he didn't, but if he'd go to that much trouble, I figured I needed to open my eyes a little bit more. And we ended it. Well, I ended it. I've never heard from her since. Didn't miss her after it was over and still haven't missed her. What does that say about how long we would have lasted or how much I really cared about her?" 

"How did you know she wanted to get married?"

"She told me."

"She flat out said that she wanted you to propose?"

"Yep." 

"Wow, that's gutsy. I've got to hand it to her. She saw what she wanted and she went after it. Almost made it to the finish line. Everyone needs goals. Did she keep the ring?" 

"Yes, she did."

"I think I kind of like her. Bitch after my own heart."

"You'd never have kept a ring. You'd have thrown it in his face on your way out the door."

"That does sound a lot like something I would do."

"I hope that's enough for one night because we're back in Palo Alto."

"You're a good storyteller. Made the time go by quickly. Why do you think Dick told me I should be nicer to you? Did I tell you he said that to me?"

"I don't think so."

"When Mac, Wallace, and I went out, we ran into Dick. He told me I needed to be nicer to you. Why would he care? If he's so protective of you, why would he want me in your life if he doesn't like me?"

"He thinks lots of women are interested in our money. He's known you long enough to realize you don't care about it and you knew both of us when we weren't at our best. But you still put up with us." Logan glanced over at her. "In some ways, I think Dick respects the fact that you left. You proved to him that you were willing to let go when it might have been easier to stay."

"Oh."

"And I'm sure there's more than a little guilt involved about how things went down in high school."

"Ah, the good ole days."

"He also knows I've never stopped talking about you since the day you left Neptune. He's watched me date other women, but he told me I've never looked at any of them the way I looked at you."

"He would never say that." Veronica shook her head and laughed. "Fuck you."

"OK. We're at the hotel, so I'm happy to take you up on that."

Logan pulled into the last remaining stall on the side of the building. "I still don't think I understand."

Logan turned the car off and turned to face Veronica. "I've been crazy about you since we were teenagers. There's nothing more to understand. Dick knows it. Mac knows it. I know it. Fuck, even Wallace and your dad probably realize it. You're the only one who doesn't get it." Logan reached over and pulled her towards him and kissed her. "I wish you'd believe the things I say sometimes."

**********

"Do you mind if I take a shower? You could join me."

"Three showers in one day. I think that goes against California's water regulations." Veronica was digging through her purse. "Just let me brush my teeth and wash the salt off my face. Then it's all yours." She dropped her purse on the table by the chair. 

As Veronica brushed her teeth, she thought about the things Logan had said to her at dinner. He was right about so much, and she hated to admit that. She wouldn't tell him, but she'd use the information as she had when Mac had been forthright with her. Her new mantra would be, "I will change. I will do this. I will be better." 

"Finished. In record time, no less." Logan bumped into her as she walked past him. He took it as an opportunity to wrap his arms around her. "You should run into me more often," she said into his shirt. 

Logan walked away and closed the bathroom door. Veronica set the alarm on her phone and placed it on the bedside table. She undressed and slipped on Logan's navy shirt before turning off the lights and climbing into bed. She turned to her side and begged that sleep or, at least, relaxation would appear. She wasn't counting on sleep, but she hoped to find a way to stay in bed all night. 

"It's really dark in here," Logan said as he exited the bathroom and emptied his hands on the bedside table. He tucked into the covers and rolled next to Veronica. "Are you wearing clothes?"

"Your navy shirt. I've gotten used to sleeping in it. Are you naked?"

"Damn right. I believe there were 2 parts to the bargain we made."

"I've been thinking about that. This was our first official date since getting back together, and I don't have sex after one date." 

"Only before the first date."

"That doesn't count. That wasn't really sex."

"Tell that to Bill Clinton." Logan wrapped his arm around her, and Veronica placed her arm on his. "I found some of your articles online. You're a really good writer."

"Thanks."

"I've noticed something about you."

"Let's hope it's something good."

"When I compliment you on your work, you take it in stride. When I say something nice to you personally, you disregard it."

"That's because I know you're just trying to get in my pants with the personal stuff." Veronica smiled at how easy it was to volley back and forth with Logan. It hadn't taken long for them to find their old rhythms.

"I guess it was a good plan because it seems to have worked. Here you are. In bed. With me. With no pants." Logan gave her a quick kiss. "Do you still like to write?"

"Yeah, I do. Most of the freelance I do doesn't involve much research, so I can crank the articles out pretty quickly. I learned investigative reporting at Northwestern, and that's what I use at work to uncover information that was lost or left out during trials. The stuff I write for the project isn't easily accessible online. Plus, it's legitimately boring. But I do still like what I do."

"I know you told me you chose your alias because it was gender neutral, but there must have been other reasons."

"There was, but I'd be too embarrassed to tell you. It makes me blush just thinking about my juvenile ways."

"Tell me. Tell me. If there's anything left in this world that can make you blush, I need to hear it."

"Ever heard of the TV show Gilmore Girls?" 

"Heard of it, but never seen it."

"It's a show about a daughter being raised by a single mother."

"Got it. I know it's late, but I'm following so far."

"The daughter eventually goes to college and winds up with a rich, charming guy who might be a bad influence on her. His name is Logan. So Rory and Logan. When I write my byline, there's always a moment when I think about you." 

"That is fucking adorable. And romantic. And you've been thinking about me all these years." 

"I told you it was embarrassing. That's what happens when you're 20 and half way across the country from the guy you loved. I'll never live it down. You better not tell anyone. Can you imagine the grief Mac would give me? No way could I take that." 

"So, when you left Neptune you were still in love with me."

"How am I supposed to answer that?"

"Honestly."

"Well, then yeah, I was. You must have known that."

"I'm not sure I did. I thought you'd had enough of me. Given up on me."

"That's probably true. I guess I had given up, but I still loved you. But that's not always enough."

"No, it's not. But it's a great place to start. Or restart."

Logan kissed her neck and she stayed still except for closing her eyes at the sensation. 

"Veronica," he whispered in her ear. Lust. 

"Mmm." She wasn't sure how her name in her ear could make her body tingle from her shoulders to her fingers to her knees to her toes. "How do you do that with one word?"

"As sexy as you are wearing my shirt, you need to take these clothes off ASAP. You need to be naked next to me."

"Mmm." Veronica pulled the shirt over her head and dangled it over the side of the bed before letting it drop on the floor. 

"Keep going." Veronica wiggled out of her white lace underwear and kicked them under the covers to the side of the bed where they fell not far from the shirt. 

"That's more like it. Christ, I've finally got you naked in bed with me again. There were times I never thought that would happen." He laced their fingers together. "You never sent me that letter." Logan planted little kisses on her cheeks, chin, and forehead. He could smell the ocean in her hair. "You didn't tell me what you wanted me to do to you."

"Mmm." 

"I'm going to need a little more to work with than that." He let go of her hand and brushed her skin, moving to her nipples. 

"I need to give up some control. You decide." 

"Fuck. That's the prefect answer." 

Logan kissed her neck and circled his fingers on her breasts. His tongue made its way down her body until he tickled her nipples with it. He gently bit at her and she rubbed her hands through his hair. He slid his hand down between her thighs and felt her warmth. 

"Mmm." Veronica couldn't remember any of the words in her vast vocabulary. The only ones that came to mind were yes and fuck, yes. Logan's fingers made their way inside her and she moved her hips in rhythm to his motion. He slid lower down the bed and soon his tongue was tasting her. The taste he hadn't known for a decade. He remembered the way she moved with his touch, the way she arched when his tongue and fingers worked in harmony, the way she would breathe in short gasps. She felt her body convulse and her hands went to the pillow behind her head. She couldn't remember when she had orgasmed so fast. Yes, she could. It was the last time she had been with him so many years ago. Sex had never been their problem. "Fuck, Logan." At least, she remembered his name. 

Logan moved off of her and grabbed a condom from the nightstand. He rolled it on and went back to Veronica still lying on her back. "OK?" She opened her eyes and was surprised to see him so close. She reached up and grabbed the back of his head pulling him down to her lips. She kissed him with all the emotion she had in her. Lust. Forgiveness. Despair. Hope. She didn't ever want to stop kissing him. Logan slid between her legs and she guided him into her. 

"Oh, fuck." She may have increased her vocabulary to five words. They seemed the most important words she'd ever known. There was nothing else in the world at that moment. No conflict. No other people. No jobs. No time. Just them. Conjoined. Adding a little more happiness to the world that was contained within their bed. 

"Veronica." Love. "Veronica." She hadn't heard him say it like that since Chicago. "Veronica." She came again as he whispered the last syllable in her ear. She rocked into him again and again until he came saying, "Fuck." She hadn't realized that word could have so many syllables. He kissed her bottom lip as he rolled away from her and out of bed. His long strides made the trip to the bathroom quick. He was out of bed only a few seconds before he nuzzled into Veronica's neck. "What's up, pussycat?"

"Have I been demoted from bobcat?"

"Never. You OK?" 

"Really OK. You?"

"Best night in years." 

"Sweet talker." 

"You going to try to get some sleep?"

"Maybe it'll be easier tonight. You're here. I'm relaxed. Maybe I'll doze off."

Logan wrapped his arm around her. "All is right in our little world."


	4. Chapter 4

Logan tired of Veronica kicking him and had wound up on the other side of the bed on his back. One arm was behind his head. Veronica looked at her phone. 4:03. She'd slept for a couple of hours, but her body and mind were racing. She scooted closer to Logan and put her hand on his stomach. He was warm and strong and she knew she wanted him again. She moved her hand over his stomach and circled his bellybutton with the tip of her finger. She kissed his chest and tongued his nipples. "Time's it?"

Veronica didn't respond but kept kissing up his body until she reached his neck. Then she kissed behind his ear. His free arm wrapped around her and slid down to her ass, cupping one side in his hand. She slid her leg over his and straddled his thigh. She could feel his erection and let her hand move towards it. She knew she didn't want to wait any longer and moved on top of him. She rubbed herself on him basking in the sensation of their touching skin and the pressure on her pelvis. 

"Condom."

"Give me a sec. I'm hardly up yet."

"Trust me, you're plenty up."

"Funny."

"Couldn't sleep," Veronica said as she watched him suit up. When he was ready, Veronica crept back on top of him and lowered herself onto him. She steadied herself by putting her hands on the sides of his strong abs as she glided up and down and back and forth. Logan moved his hand and rubbed her clit. "Mmm." 

"Slow down or I'm going to come." Veronica swallowed the groan she was about to make and took in a deep breath of air as she came around him. "Oh, god." Logan held in her place as he jerked into her. When their movements had slowed, Veronica tried to move off of him. "Gentle." 

"Sorry and thanks."

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure I just used you for sex."

"Any time." Veronica moved to the other side of the bed as Logan put the condom in a tissue by the side of the bed. "What time is it?"

"4:26." 

"You been awake all this time?"

"I slept some. Maybe this will tire me out so I can get back to sleep." 

"Come here. Lie next to me. Put you head on my heart. Count the beats until you fall asleep." Logan wrapped his arm around her as she rested her head on his chest. The steady rhythm lulled Veronica into tranquility.

**********

The sound of her phone alarm startled her out of Logan's arm. 7:30. She needed to leave for the airport in 60, maybe 90 minutes. She rolled over to turn off her phone and pulled the covers to the side. "Not yet. Get back here." 

"We both have flights to catch."

"We've got time." Veronica crawled back under the covers, and Logan rolled over to spoon her. He moved her hair so his face was on her bare neck. His hand moved to her nipple and he teased it with his fingers. She felt him getting harder on her rear. His hand made its way south and she spread her legs allowing him to touch her. He pulled her on her back and caught her leg between his. As he pushed his fingers into her, he rubbed his shaft up and down on her leg. 

"Fuck me, Logan," Veronica said as she rubbed his short hair. "Please. Don't make me beg. It's undignified."

Logan grabbed the last condom he had put on the nightstand. As soon as he entered her, Veronica gasped and moaned. They could both sense it was going to be more hurried this time. Logan braced himself on his arms and pulled out before entering her again. He did it one more time before they rocked into each other again and again. "Christ," Logan said as he came in her. "Sorry. That was too fast. Jesus, you make me crazy. I couldn't stop."

"Why are you apologizing? That was fucking incredible." Veronica noticed her words had come back to her. "We've still got it, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I definitely don't mind you saying so."

"I hate to admit when I'm wrong, but I was, so I'll cop to it. You, old man, are not past your prime."

"I'd be more likely to believe you if you hadn't called me an old man." Logan kissed her on the shoulder. 

"I hate to ruin the moment, but I have to shower and pack. Roll over."

"And you tried to convince me you aren't romantic."

"Wham, bam. That's my motto." 

**********

When Logan finished dressing, he sat on the edge of the bed next to Veronica where she was checking emails and texts on her phone. 

"So two weeks."

"I texted you the dates, right?"

"Yep."

"I'm flying into San Diego and staying with my dad on Saturday and Sunday. Mac said I can stay with her Monday night. She thinks she'll be in Neptune that weekend, and she's taking Monday off so we can spend the day together. Wonder where she'll be staying when she's in Neptune."

"I think we both know the answer to that."

"You're working most of that weekend, right?"

"I should be free both nights. I'll probably stay with Dick. If you don't want to bunk with your dad, stay at the beach with us."

"No thanks. There are so many things wrong with that invitation." Logan walked over to his bag and dug through it before returning to the edge of the bed. "I'll be in LA on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights. Then, Carlsbad with you on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. That's still OK, right?"

"Better than OK. Here're some keys to the condo in case you get there before I do. I'll text you the alarm code. How are you getting to Carlsbad?"

"I'll see if someone at the conference is heading south. If not, I'll take the train. There's one that gets in soon after 7:00 on Thursday night. I booked the return out of John Wayne. Do you think you can take me to the airport? My flight's at 3:00."

"I know I won't want to, but, of course, I will. Sounds like you've got it all planned."

"Just trying to be organized. I'll text you my LA hotel info. I know you won't need it, but you should have it. Know where I'll be."

"Veronica, I want you to do something for me."

"It's a deep dish pizza, isn't it? You need me to send you one. Or is it a Super Dawg? I'm not sure they mail those." 

"I'm serious. Can you put your phone down?"

"Serious, huh? OK, I'll switch my brain to work mode. How can I help?"

"I need you to listen to me and take what I say seriously."

"OK."

"This week you need to call your dad and tell him about us and tell him about your depression." Veronica's face fell as she turned to look out the window. Her lower lip disappeared. "Hey." She turned to look back at him and he reached up and touched the visible part of her lip. 

"I'll tell him about us, but I really don't want to talk to him about the depression. I'm not ready for that." 

"You've had a year to tell him. It's time to step up and figure out how to talk to him. Give him the chance to decide how he wants to help."

"I'm afraid he's going to be disappointed enough that I'm back with you."

"Nice. Thanks very much."

"You know what I mean."

"Not sure that I do, but that's OK. Do one more thing for me. Eat something today before you get to Chicago." 

Veronica shook her head. "I don't need you to micromanage me. My boss doesn't do that, and you aren't allowed to do it, either. I didn't tell you about what's going on so you would have an excuse to keep tabs on me."

"I just want you to take care of yourself. Maybe you need a nudge in the right direction."

"A nudge. Yeah, right. I really don't like people telling me what I should and shouldn't do, but I'll get something at the airport."

"A year of this is long enough. If what you've been doing for the last year isn't making this any better, go to plan b."

"I'm working on finding the next plan."

"How about meditation?"

"Fuck, have you met me? I'd last 6 seconds before I lost my mind and had to grab my laptop."

"You'd be surprised. It takes practice, but it really does help. Will you, at least, look into it?"

"Yeah, OK." 

"I'm serious. You have to make a change. I'm not telling you have to start taking meds, but you've got to get a handle on this. I'm going to be checking up on you, so when I call and ask how you're doing, be straight with me. Don't just say you're fine. Tell me what's going on."

"I feel like you're lecturing me like I'm a little kid. I know how to take care of myself, Logan. I've been doing it for years."

"Right, and at this moment you need a reminder about how to get yourself back on track. I'm not criticizing you. I'm trying to help." 

"I know," she said as she leaned into him. "It's going to get better and I'm going to make more of an effort. I will figure out how to beat this." 

"I'm going to miss you so much." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry I messed up on the airports. I could have sworn you told me you were flying out of San Jose. I figured we'd go to the airport together." 

"It's no big deal. I'll get an Uber. Maybe I did say San Jose but my boarding pass definitely says SFO. It could be my fault." 

"Two weeks and you'll be back. This time for 9 days," he said it to reassure himself and her. "And you'll have talked to your dad and it'll be easier for you to be with him." Logan kissed her. "You know, he's not going to care that we're together. He just wants you to be happy. Tell him this will make you happier." 

"I'm sure it will, you know." She leaned closer into him. "I really don't want this to be over already." 

Logan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and moved his head closer to her. He sent shivers through her body as he whispered in her ear, "It's only the beginning."


End file.
